The problem with silence...
There’s a kind of silence that screams.
It shows up in meetings where no one disagrees.
In decision rooms where leaders talk at teams, not with them.
On zoom when “urgent”, new initiatives are assigned without downgrading existing priorities with zero push back from already stretched teams.
In 1:1s where people say “Everything’s fine”—but the metrics say otherwise.
In cultures where trust is mistaken for compliance.
Here’s what I’ve seen in 14,000+ hours spent coaching BRAVE®:
When people stop speaking up, it’s not because they’re ok. It’s because they don’t trust you enough to tell you the truth.
That kind of silence?
It’s not calm. It’s not unity. It’s not respect.
It’s a signal—of disengagement, resentment, fear, or simply emotional exhaustion.
And in fast-growing companies, silence isn’t just a communication issue. It’s an existential threat.
Because speed and innovation require friction.
Excellence requires dissent.
Alignment requires disagreement on the way to truth.
Psychological safety isn’t the absence of tension—it’s the presence of trust that can withstand it.
⸻
So, ask yourself the following:
Who has permission to challenge your thinking?
When was the last time someone told you something hard to hear?
How did that conversation go? Did you get defensive? Did you act on the feedback?
Of all of these, I think the most telling is the first one: who has permission to challenge you?
If your answer is no one, you have a problem.
If your answer is, "lots of people" but... moving on to #2, if no one has shared something hard to hear with you within the last week or two, you still have a problem. It means people don't actually believe they have permission to challenge you.
I see this with A LOT of executives.
They mean well. They think and intend to have an "open door policy" where people can tell them anything, but their people don't agree...
To be clear, it's not a knock on them (unless they've spent as long studying people, communication and brain science as I have—which, let's be honest, they haven't).
There's no reason you should know this stuff.
But there's also no reason why you aren't actively seeking out this knowledge. It's what the most impactful and influential leaders do...
Because let's be honest, engagement surveys don’t typically catch what silence hides. But you can—if you know what to listen for.
Most cultures hit this silence point right before they hit The Culture Cliff™.
But the good news is that you can turn the ship around.
Conversation by brave conversation.
By B - Being present. By empowering, not fixing.
By prioritizing R - rapport. Not proving your point.
By A - active listening. Listening beneath the words being said. Not using their words to form your defense.
By identifying V - vulnerability. And knowing how to address it, in yourself and for others.
By stepping into E - empathy. Not judgement, on purpose.
By understanding the neuroscience behind each of these steps, you learn how to create a level of trust that people can feel, not just think about.
You create a culture that can hold the truth.
And then, the silence disappears...
..And is replaced with results.
Speed, alignment, innovation.
Creativity, problem solving, connection.
Things that are impossible in the silence of unspoken stress.
⸻
I'll leave you with this... The results you seek are on the other side of the conversation that isn't being had.
⸻
Here for you and your bravery,
Elisabeth
P.S. Some brave invitations for you this week:
Ask your team: “What’s one thing you think but don’t feel safe saying out loud here?” (Then pause. Wait. Listen BRAVE-ly.)
Reflect privately: “When has my silence contributed to the very culture I wish was different?”
Share this with a colleague you trust to tell you the truth, and ask them: What’s something you think I don’t want to hear?