Life isn't a race, it’s a rhythm, it’s a ritual

Last weekend I got to speak at one of my best friend’s weddings. She didn’t want me to read a passage from the Bible or quote a poem about love. She wanted me to say a few words about brave conversations and love.

“Make it like one of your TED talks,” she said.

Gulp. No pressure. 😳

I racked my brain.

And then, I heard my Dad’s words…

Did I mention that the couple met on his Memorial Day, September 30th and are getting married on his birthday, June 21st? Yeah. I can’t make that up.

So here’s what I said.

It seemed relevant, whether because you can extrapolate how to listen so that your team will rise or because you are all humans with people you love outside of work. So, I hope you enjoy this week’s quite different sort of newsletter…

Bravely,

Elisabeth

—-

My dad would always say

“Chi va piano, va sano e va lontano.”

It means:

He who goes slow, goes healthy… and goes far.

So, kind of like “slow and steady wins the race,” but better. More human. More… Italian.

That saying stuck with me.

Because in a world that moves so fast, where urgency is mistaken for importance

Even the most intentional people need a reminder to slow down

And that phrase reminds us that love, like life, isn’t a race.

It’s a rhythm.

It’s a ritual.

Grace and Chris,

My hope is that today — this ceremony — isn’t a one-time event.

It’s the beginning of a lifetime of rituals that slow you down.

Moments that bring you back.

To presence.

To intention.

To your community

To each other.

Whether that’s a walk in nature, like your your first date in Prospect Park or a BRAVE conversation over coffee…

Where you make space each week to ask and answer a meaningful question like:

“Right now, what is most fueling and what is most challenging?” Or “what are you proud of this week?”

Something that gives you a snapshot of where they are.

And then..

Maybe more important than the question itself:

You get to just be present.

You get to listen.

Not to respond.

Not to fix their problems or give them the answer.

But to listen in a way that prioritizes your bond

Not being right or winning.

You get listen to everything.

Their words. Their eyes. Their tone. Their body…

And when you sense something off… defensiveness, fear— any hard emotion really,

You are so committed to going slow and listening that you’re able to lean in and get curious when you used to get defensive.

You’re able to see them, share in their experience.

Witness their journey

Because when someone you love can be that supportive witness,

You rise.

So, my hope is that you build a life filled with these tiny pauses.

These meaningful, brave conversations.

Not because everything is perfect.

But because you choose to make the ordinary sacred.

Because you choose to slow down, so that your love will rise.

And for the rest of us —

A gentle reminder:

Yes, we’re here for the celebration.

But our presence today is a commitment to our bride and groom.

Today we vow to support their love in going the distance.

Which means we’re committing to helping them slow down.

To protecting their pauses.

To holding space when it’s inconvenient.

To reminding them that even when it feels hard, maybe especially when it feels hard,

To step out of the race and come back to the rhythm and ritual of their love

So that they can go slow, go healthy, and go far.

Chi va piano, va sano e va lontano.

To the rhythm and ritual of your love.
​

❤️