The difference between holding back and stepping up
⚽️ We’re celebrating a fun little victory in our house today…
My 17-month-old daughter nonchalantly put her foot on top of a soccer ball, rolled it backward, and turned around.
I’ve been showing her this move all week. She’s watched but continued on with her day, never even remotely mirroring my action.
Then, totally unprompted, she did it herself. 🤯 In a moment when she needed it—she was stuck in a corner and needed to go the other way.
⏪️ Throwback
It took me back to when I was about 18, and a trainer for a U-5 team. They were just learning the game, still playing “bumblebee soccer” as we called it—when the whole team spends the entirety of the game swarming the ball. 🐝🐝🐝
I remember the first time I taught them this same move. When they wanted to change direction, they’d physically try to run around to the other side of the ball… and lose it. 🙄
So one day at practice, I showed them how to place their foot on top of it, roll it backward, about-face and go!
Most parents thought I was crazy.
“They’re too little,” they said.
But I thought: Why not?
If you treat someone as capable, they might just surprise you.
Back then, I didn’t know much about kids. But I did know what my dad taught me about humans — we rise to the level of the belief placed in us.
Sure, these kids did everything from step on the ball and fall over, to getting all tangled in their own feet. But you know what happened in the next game?
One of them nailed it, then another and another. And the sidelines (of both teams) absolutely erupted in disbelief! 📣🥳🎉
So when I showed my daughter the same move recently, I was completely unattached to the outcome. While also knowing that she picks up the craziest things, especially when I least expect it.
She didn’t copy me on command.
She didn’t even seem like it sunk in.
But when she was ready, she did it.
Which, if you’ve ever coached or led anyone, you know—integration is the true sign of learning.
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🪞 What This Teaches Us About Leadership
This isn’t just a cute story. It’s a mirror.
How often do you…
Jump in to fix instead of pausing to ask questions?
Offer advice before understanding the problem?
Judge someone’s skill instead of their stage?
Treat your people like they’re fragile — instead of capable?
If a 17-month-old can internalize and apply a new skill, how big is the chance that your team is far more capable than you think?
I get it, you are a high achiever. You want to push your people toward excellence as well. But where can you give them a little room (and belief) to grow and surprise you?
Remember: Your job isn’t to prove how much you know. It’s to create the space where they can discover what they know.
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📊 The Research Backs It
This isn’t just a story — it’s science:
💡Empowering leadership drives innovation. Studies show empowered employees generate more creative ideas and solutions.
💪🏼 Autonomy fuels growth. Teams with high involvement and ownership outperform those who feel micromanaged.
😞 Low expectations suppress performance. The Golem Effect shows that when managers underestimate people, results drop.
🧠 Psychological safety is rare — only ~50% of employees say their manager truly creates it.
🏃♂️Trust builds speed. Teams that feel trusted make faster, better decisions — because they’re not waiting for permission.
So the next time someone struggles, remember: your belief in their capability may be the most motivating thing you offer.
For those of you familiar with The BRAVE Framework®, your ability to Be present is your greatest empowerment tool.
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🌀 BRAVE® Reminder
Every conversation you have is either building capability or breaking it down.
When you practice BRAVE—Be Present, Rapport, Active Listening, Vulnerability and Empathy, you know that you’re creating the conditions for growth. It’s science 💁🏼♀️
Because your belief in someone is often the difference between them holding back and stepping up.
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☕️ Reflection for the Week
Where are you underestimating someone?
What might happen if you treated them like they were fully capable — right now?
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💬 Ready to Build a Team That Surprises You?
Join our upcoming BRAVE® Feedback Workshop on November 20th — and learn how to use feedback conversations as your most powerful leadership tool.
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💙 Final Thought
My daughter’s little soccer move reminded me:
Human potential doesn’t bloom when we command it. It blooms when we believe in it. Create a system around that.
Hint: I did it for you😉
Bravely,
Elisabeth
