Are you pushing or pulling?
So often, leaders come to me hoping I’ll push their people for them.
That I’ll give them a framework to extract more:
- accountability
- ownership
- excellence
And sure, I can.
BRAVE® can create all three — but not for the reason you think…
When I hear founders, executives, and leaders across industries express frustration, it’s usually because they’re trying so hard to push their people — harder, faster, to do more, to do better.
Yes, pressure can create diamonds. There is a healthy kind — pressure that stretches people out of their comfort zone, to their edge, to rise.
And then there’s the other kind — the kind that’s not sporadic, useful, or inspiring. The kind that’s constant, overwhelming, and, more often than not, crushing.
Most frustrated leaders are unknowingly overusing pressure — because they never learned another way.
They’re pushing their people: more, harder, better, faster.
Everything. All the time. All at once.
That doesn’t create diamonds.
It creates burnout, frustration, and the absence of the positive impact those leaders genuinely intend to have on their people’s productivity, purpose, and progress.
Why?
Because we’re leaning too hard on push.
We need to learn to pull.
Push vs. Pull
Push is you shoving a stone up a mountain.
In people terms, it’s:
- Fixing every problem
- Correcting every mistake
- Driving every outcome
Push creates compliance.
But compliance doesn’t scale culture.
Push often leads straight to what I call The Culture Cliff™ — where performance looks fine… until it suddenly isn’t.
Pull is different.
Pull is creating the conditions where people climb the mountain themselves.
As a leader, that means your role is one of empowerment.
You’re not the hero — you’re the sidekick.
Your job is to help others become the hero of their own story.
When you zoom out, that’s all leadership is.
It’s never been about you — it’s about how capable you are at creating other leaders.
Pull happens in the way you interact with people.
Think about it — have you ever had someone in your life — a coach, mentor, or boss — who didn’t need to push you because their presence, belief, and support made you push yourself?
How did they do that?
They saw your potential even when you couldn’t.
They didn’t fix you.
They stood beside you, not above you.
They called you up, not out.
They held the hard things with you, not for you.
They were curious about you — your purpose, your potential, your power.
That’s pull.
So, how do you create it?
Through conversation.
Every single interaction matters.
The way you respond.
The way you listen.
The way you choose to show up.
That’s the work — and it’s fully within your control.
The Human Skill Advantage
Of course, there’s an AI component — these days, what doesn’t have one?
But here’s the thing: all of this requires a level of human skill to adopt and a level of awareness to master.
Those won’t be replaced by AI.
Even Daniela Amodei, cofounder of Anthropic, says the companies of the future will demand uniquely human capabilities — communication, empathy, curiosity, and compassion.
Against Frictionless AI
The trouble is, we’re entering a frictionless world — one that prizes convenience over growth.
If you focus only on the external chaos, have fun. I’ll pray for you.
But you do have a choice in the matter. You always do (hello self leadership).
You can choose to focus on what you can control:
Your skills.
Your awareness.
Your energy.
A fascinating paper in Nature Communications Psychology argues that “frictionless AI” — tools designed to remove effort and discomfort — might actually rob us of the very struggles that help us grow and connect.
Read that again.
Because when you remove all friction, you also remove the opportunity for development — the confidence, resilience, and self-trust that come from doing hard things.
Healthy tension and discomfort push us to expand. With the right support, that’s where humans flourish.
Maslow had it right: when safety and support exist, people thrive and self-actualize.
When leaders learn to have BRAVE® conversations, they reintroduce healthy friction — not drama or chaos, but constructive tension.
It increases psychological safety.
Surfaces issues early.
And makes teams faster, together.
That’s what builds cultures that can bend, not break.
Conversation is the Next Competitive Advantage
I’ve always been a little early.
Not to parties — to ideas.
Back in 2017, a friend returned from an Alibaba conference where Jack Ma had just spoken.
He said, “You’re going to love this. Ma argued that as machines take over tasks, we’ll need to teach the next generation compassion, connection, emotional awareness, and empathy — because those will be the most in-demand skills.”
Boom.
Fast-forward nine years.
CEOs from McKinsey to Forbes agree: human capability is the new differentiator.
McKinsey calls it the “human advantage.”
Forbes says emotional intelligence and adaptability outweigh technical skill.
The Conference Board lists critical thinking, leadership, and judgment as top performance drivers in the AI era.
Human skill is no longer “soft.”
It’s scarce. (And scarce = valuable.)
Wanna keep that job?
Be “essential”?
Learn a skill that’s scarce.
Conversation is the next competitive advantage.
The Real Question
So: are you pushing your people?
Or are you pulling them?
Remember:
Push creates pressure. Pull creates power.
Push builds dependency. Pull builds leaders.
Push accelerates burnout. Pull accelerates growth.
You don’t scale connection by removing friction.
You don’t become great by avoiding discomfort.
You don’t build resilient culture by making everything easy.
Friction isn’t unhealthy — avoidance is.
Tension is only toxic when it’s chronically unresolved.
If you’re ready to learn how to create pull, that’s where the real leverage lives.
Conversation is your next competitive advantage.
You know where to find me,
Elisabeth
