Contact naps & high performance… an inconvenient truth?
Unpopular Opinion: Contact napping with my daughter makes me a better leader.
Nearly every day for the past 15 months, my daughter and I take two (ish) hours a day to snuggle and rest.
Yes, it feels very Italian of me to take a “siesta” with her. But it’s deeper than that.
I’ve gotten plenty of unsolicited advice:
“You’ll never be able to keep this up.”
“Why don’t you just put her down?”
“Don’t you have things to do?”
Thanks guys. I get it.
But here’s the thing: this season of life has taught me the importance of measuring quality not quantity. (The opposite is simply a recipe for burnout).
Because in a world where AI and technology are accelerating faster than we can keep up, I’m betting on a different skill:
The ability to ground, to attune, to be fully present, to be so regulated that everyone calibrates to me… to coregulate… to be B.R.A.V.E.
That’s the rare currency of the future.
Ai can’t teach you that kind of leadership embodiment.
Ai can’t upgrade your human operating system.
But this, it’s already changed me. And I don’t plan to stop.
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What happens during those naps?
Mainly, I let the innate wisdom of the human body work its magic. Oxytocin is miraculous. (If you don’t know what oxytocin is responsible for, maybe I’ll share its benefits in next week’s newsletter).
What I will say for now is: Oxytocin isn’t cute. It’s the foundation of high performance.
It creates a neurobiological foundation for resilience—it turns stress into connection-driven adaptation, which is why it’s vital for leaders, parents, and anyone navigating high-growth environments.
So other than letting our naps bathe both of our systems in this magical hormone, I:
• Meditate or pray. It often starts with gratitude and rolls into releasing control and expectation of some sort. Moms/parents, you’ll get this the most.
• Stare at her in awe. Seriously. While I was off running BRAVE sessions, making coffee and answering emails, I was also doing things like making a liver, eyelashes, and a nervous system. That still blows my mind.
• Work. Yes, I do “get stuff done,” too. Some of my best ideas come while I’m trapped in her snuggles. And some of these newsletters, too. No shock there—our nervous systems thrive in regulated, safe, oxytocin-rich states.
This is not an accident. It’s biology.
I’m simply allowing myself to take full advantage of the miracles at my disposal.
You have them, too. I’m sure of it.
What might they be?
P.S. ten years ago, this would have been so hard for me! So zero judgment whatsoever.
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And, let’s get this out of the way:
Yes, it’s a privilege to be able to do this.
And… I also waited until I was 41 to have a child because I wanted to parent in a very intentional way. I worked hard to build a life to make this possible.
Plus, I only have one child (and a very needy Frenchie), zero clue how I’d manage this with two human kids… so there’s that.
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Why does any of this matter for fast-growing companies like yours?
Fast growth companies, startups in particular, live in a state of constant chaos, uncertainty and emotion whiplash.
The same nervous-system principles that make me a better mom make leaders better CEOs, executives, managers and team mates.
Here’s what contact naps have taught me and what you need to know to grow a high performance team:
• Regulation is contagious. Teams mirror their leaders. When you are calm, you transmit calm.
• Velocity doesn’t come from speed—it comes from safety. A regulated team makes faster, better decisions.
• Boundaries sharpen focus. When I protect nap time, I protect deep work time, too.
• Presence fuels innovation. My best insights don’t come from staring at my screen—they come from stillness.
• Connection beats control. Whether it’s your child or your team, trust unlocks growth far more than micromanagement.
This is not soft. This is how you scale culture without burning people out:
You become the person on your team (or in your family) who can bravely anchor everyone around them.
Be the person others calibrate to.
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Now it’s your turn:
What’s the unpopular decision you need to make right now?
Maybe it’s one like mine.
Maybe it’s totally different.
But I bet you have a decision that you’re sitting with.
What would happen if you did what I did. And choose to honor something that you know deep in your bones to be your path, even if it doesn’t make sense to other people? I dare you…
How can you take a step toward becoming the person others calibrate to?
Because when you choose that—you don’t just lead better, you slow down to speed up.
And in the process, you build a life worth leading and a culture that amplifies it all.
That’s when your ripple effects magnify.
That’s when your quality becomes the quantity you seek.
Bravely,
Elisabeth
